I’ve recently set myself a goal to run twice a week up a hill that ascends for a kilometer and half before it opens up into a forested canopy with trails. The top is a welcome stopping place for anyone who has braved and successfully overcome the steep climb. I’ve fondly nicknamed it ‘killer hill! And yet, what it has killed is different than you might think.
So, there I am at the start of ‘killer hill’ with my headphones cheering me on. At the start of each run I set an intention to get to the top. The phrase I encourage myself with is: ‘Just one more step, go one more block!’ And so I go, one slow step after another, inching my way steadily to the top. And, when I arrive, though out of breath and parched, a sense of personal achievement washes over me together with relief that I’ve been able to meet the challenge one more time.
I’ll admit there are days when I’ve felt tempted to quit and turn back because it’s felt too tough to continue -either because my legs feel as if they’re about to seize or the heat is sapping my energy. In those moments, I slow down to a walk, or I stop completely to rest and breathe till my breath returns to a more even rhythm. I remind myself why I tackled this hill in the first place: to increase my level of fitness, to build stamina and to challenge myself beyond my physical comfort zone.
‘Killer hill’ has not killed me. What it has killed is my sense of complacency. It’s requiring me to push through any doubt I might have had about my ability to meet this challenge. It’s got me curious about the ways I habitually resist when things seem too tough to face. It’s having me notice my resistance. And, from that state of awareness, I have the freedom to either enter the challenge or resist and notice the tension within me. When I choose to open to the experience, I am surprised to discover afresh what I may be capable of, especially when I align my head and heart with my goal of opening to all that the experience might offer.
So, instead of killing my spirit, ‘killer hill’ inspires me to garner all my resources to move myself steadily forward … ‘just one more step…go one more block.’
‘Killer hill’ is symbolic of numerous unexpected challenges in life that confront us: relationship break-ups, job loss, downsizing, financial challenges, budget cuts, unexpected illness, loss of loved ones. In life, we neither choose our hill nor do we get to turn around because it’s too tough. Many of these challenges confront us at our core, like a looming uphill struggle that feels like a ‘killer’. And yet, amidst these struggles, something arises from within that reveals to us the stuff we are made of. And that inner sense of who we are, moves us one step closer to overcoming daunting life challenges, just one small step at a time.
Every day that I wake up I know that my hill is not going away, it’s just around the corner. And, in some ways I am grateful for it because it reminds me that its lessons are there for me each day that I chose to run it. And, it’s only in embracing its challenges that I am likely to build my stamina and increase my capacity to grow.
In life, I’m learning that each uphill struggle strengthens us for the next challenge and the next.
So, what is your #1 challenge, ‘your killer hill’?
What one step can you take today, towards over-coming its challenge?
And, what previous experience can support you to take ‘one more step’ or ‘just go one more block’, forward’?
Write me. I’d love to hear how you are overcoming or embracing your ‘killer hill’
deborah[at]authenticdialogue.com
